I, for one, am altogether pleased to let go of 2017. The only thing I'm currently struggling with is the idea that 2018 will never hold a place for my dad in his physical form. It's difficult to comprehend that the final year of my dad's life is over and gone. So, while I'm thankful and grateful that we have all said goodbye to 2017, I will always hold that year near and dear to my heart.
Each day since my dad has passed has felt like an impossible battle. I've been fighting the inner workings of my childhood-based trauma while also trying to claw my way out of the deep, dark hole that grief has left in its wake. It has not been an easy journey, but it has been a worthwhile one.
Sometimes it's hard to see that I've made any progress until I step back and compare where I'm at right now to where I was at a month ago, a week ago, or even a day ago. The differences might not seem noticeable to people around me, but I can sense a tremendous change in the way I feel inside. This huge, enormous, gigantic change is due to loads of therapy (two EMDR sessions and one Somatic Experiencing session per week), an outpouring of love from my wife and my tribe of people that I surround myself with, and the most important: a total shift in my mindset.
Before I continue, let me preface this by saying that (spoiler alert): it's impossible to be happy or feel peace 100% of the time. You could take all the baths, drink all the tea, practice all the yoga, and you still will never be able to achieve a perfect blend of happiness, peace, and joy. But that's a lesson that I'm slowly coming to accept. As complex human beings, we experience a wide range of emotions. Some of us are more prone to certain emotions than others, but we all carry them and feel them at different times throughout our lives. There's no avoiding the emotions, but there are ways to balance them out and accept them, rather than fear them. Which leads me to my main point...